Utilizing distractions

The last few weeks have both drained and filled me in ways I’m not even sure I can explain. Oddly enough, one of the things that helped me cope with overwhelming emotions was reading a chapter book to my oldest nieces and nephews, sending a chapter or two each day via voice message. My family is full of avid readers and listeners, which makes the escape of a good story enjoyable for all of us. 

Did I just use the word “escape”?

I used to think distractions were an emotionally weak way to deal with an issue. I still think that they can be just that. But they can also give time to let emotions settle. A well-timed distraction can keep us from panicking, growing numb, or tuning out. A distraction contains the issue–good or bad–for a time until we’ve worked up the strength to deal with it. 

Even when I manage to relinquish my preoccupation to the Lord, I still find it helpful to distract myself so I don’t snatch it back from His capable hands. You might find me organizing my pantry while listening to an audio book or praying aloud. Or deciding an across-town shopping trip must be done today, on foot, at tip-top speed. Or making a detailed and utterly useless list.

At some point, the issue must be addressed–the change faced, the sorrow grieved–and distractions must come to an end. We cannot heap distraction upon distraction and expect positive results.

Today as I was leafing through an old Bible study book, I saw that I had written an “escape plan,” practical steps to exchange my burdens for the yoke of Christ. “Stop. Praise. Pray. Distract. Share.” My goal had been to post these steps somewhere, but the idea got lost in the shuffle of life. Until today.

I guess I needed the reminder that distractions, useful as they are, are a means to an end and not the end themselves.

Recommended books for you

It’s the time of year again when we snoop around at what everyone else is reading to make our own winter reading lists. Depending on your tastes, here are a few books I read this year that might be worth checking out:

Fiction:

In the mood for a whodunit?

For light, silly reading (I recommend reading this series in moderation to keep the stories fun rather than monotonous):

Or how about a children’s chapter book?

Be sure to send recommendations my way! As you can tell, I love to read. 🙂

Thanksgiving

Here we are again. Thanksgiving time. Black Friday on its heels during which we promptly forget all of the blessings we just named with family and friends and storm stores to get deals on stuff we don’t need.

Thanksgiving isn’t a thing here in Spain; however, Black Friday is. So we don’t even need the pretense of thankfulness before we dash out for bargains. 😉

This year, my team plans to celebrate thankfulness on Saturday instead of the traditional Thursday. (That comes with living in a country that doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. No days off here!) Despite the delay, I’m going to jot down a few things I’m thankful for this year. Join me in the comments below.

  • That my times are in His hands (Ps. 31:14)
  • Crisp fall days
  • Being loved
  • An uninterrupted morning routine
  • The apartment building’s cleaning lady who mops the neighbor’s cigarette ash off my doorstep
  • A vivid imagination
  • Friends and family who enjoy facing life with me
  • Health
  • Audiobooks
  • Cards and letters from the States
  • Good memories–old, new, and ones still being made
  • The Holy Spirit, bringing both comfort and conviction
  • Books lent–shared enjoyment
  • Yesterday’s leftovers (although, perhaps not last week’s)

I will leave you with that. Happy Thanksgiving!

Little 2015 “poems”

In 2015, I challenged myself to a one thing every month. One month, the challenge was to write a poem a day. The challenge was that: a challenge and most of my “poems” turned into tiny definitions using the same rhythm: 8/6/7. 

I found them a few months ago while I was looking through my old journals and decided to pull out several to share with you. They’re not artistic, but they’re fun. And maybe I’ll inspire you to write your own! If you do, share them in the comments section below.

Flowers
Sweet thoughts shrouded in timely death:
Bliss to those remembered;
Tear drops to those forgotten.

TV
Exclusive members only, but
Please show brain parking pass.
Night is full of undreamed dreams.

Music
The heart’s expression put to dance.
Tones that beckon listeners.
Message in a bottle, found.

Music 2
Listening to another’s heart
In catchy rhyme and rhythm
And wishing you’d thought of that.

Blank Pages
Rolling stretches of nothingness
Packed into neat, white squares:
Deserts in languished places.

Clocks
Ever-present competitors
Daring life to vanish
Before we decide to dance.

Childhood Memories
Poignant traveling of the mind
That pinches can’t awake:
Bitter, sweet, and bittersweet.

Death
A monster posed to frustrate life;
Yet, mingled with heaven
Will strangely bring relief.

Heartbreak
Initial tears have disappeared;
Descends the selfish numb—
It’s only I who suffers!

Books
For a stolen moment letting
Reality fade and
Becoming who you are not.

Trust
Relinquishing every control
To one you believe in
Though sometimes you feel equipped.

Photo by Zaini Izzuddin on Unsplash

Choosing a dream vacation

A couple of weeks ago, we had a team listening exercise in which each of us had to describe our dream vacation. A teammate would listen carefully and later give the details to the larger group.

What is my dream vacation? I like to think I’m adventurous, like maybe backpacking across Europe or ending up on the African savannah. A friend and I are planning a 40th birthday trip (still a few years off, but we might as well have a blast planning). She wanted to go to Australia until she heard about the poisonous snakes. I’m still voting for Scandinavia.

One teammate said he wants to go to every English speaking country over the course of 5 years. One wanted to travel to every continent. Another wanted Switzerland, another Alaska.

I said Ireland. I’d take a small fishing village on the west coast with a stack of books and plenty of solitude. I’d soak in the wild coastal nature and eat oysters every day. Maybe I’d slip into the city every now and then for a hot chocolate and street musicians. Maybe I’d invite a quiet friend along and we could drink Irish tea and be alone together in the gentle drizzle of a rainy day.

That’s the best I can think up right now. But I’m curious what everyone else’s dream vacations would be. Well? What would you choose? Feel free to leave a comment so I can dream with you.

Recommended books for you

Ready for some winter reading recommendations? These are some of my reads from 2022. Click the links to read the descriptions.

Note: These are recommendations, but I cannot necessarily endorse 100% of each book’s content.

SPIRITUAL ENRICHMENT

Connecting: Healing Ourselves and Our Relationships by Larry Crabb

The Radiant Midnight: Depression, Grace, and the Gifts of a Dark Place by Melissa Maimone

You’re Only Human: How Your Limits Reflect God’s Design and How That’s Good News by Kelly M. Kapic

Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us Out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode–and into a Life of Connection and Joy by Aundi Kobler

Given: The Forgotten Meaning and Practice of Blessing by Tina Boesch

MEMOIR / NON-FICTION

A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell

The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker

Food Americana: The Remarkable People and Incredible Stories behind America’s Favorite Dishes by David Page

Salt, Sugar, Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us by Michael Moss

Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen

Elena Vanishing: A Memoir by Elena and Clare B. Dunkle

Women Who Risk: Secret Agents for Jesus in the Muslim World by Tom and JoAnn Doyle

The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women by Kate Moore

Between Worlds: Essays on Culture and Belonging by Marilyn Gardner

Guests of the Sheik: An Ethnography of an Iraqi Village by Elizabeth Warnock Fernea

FICTION

Death Comes to Pemberley by P.D. James

The Wednesday Wars by Gary D. Schmidt

Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry


Happy reading!

Ireland- part 5

I am determined to finish writing about my trip to Ireland today. I doubt it can be as much fun to read as it is to write because it is I who get to relive all of the memories. And with time, the bad memories fade–the exhaustion from a missed night of sleep, the grimy cottage, and so on. (Although, for the record, there aren’t many “so on”s.) It is the good memories that grow and blossom and put a little burn in my heart: that marriage of pure happiness and incredulity.

So, where did I leave off?

Saturday. I will skip over the morning escapade with the washer and the dryer and our hostess because I already wrote enough about our experience. We arrived downtown during a morning drizzle. My friend stopped to ask directions from a group of jolly men sipping their foaming Guinness outside of a bar. She did it for the experience, I think. For the kicks and giggles. It turns out the men weren’t Dubliners and couldn’t help us despite their trying. But they fit well into the friendly Irish stereotype we had already formed in our minds.

We managed to find a market after studying a map and then trailing someone with a market cart. We paused at one of the stalls for some mouth-watering paprika almonds and a free sample of creamy mozzarella balls. The drippy weather and the live music made the tiny market charming, although we probably couldn’t find the place again if we tried.

wooden buckets with savory market goodies

We meandered to the Chester Beatty Library, but when we stepped inside, we both decided we’d rather not do the tour. We may never know what we missed, but it was nice to decide to miss it together. We caught a bus to Phoenix Park, where we picked up free tickets to tour the President’s house and then crossed the sunny lawn–yes, the sun was beaming by then!– to a picnic bench under a tree. It was there in that slice of heavenly greenness and almost-warmth that I was able to say a prayer for our Airbnb hostess and my own attitude toward her. The residual irritation of the morning faded and stopped marring the day. We ate our picnic lunch. Without trying, we had planned the perfect amount of time to eat a relaxed lunch and then meander down to the tour bus.

sun shining on green park

We were about 15. A very small tour. Our guide was amazing, explaining the obvious points of interest in the house as well as the lesser noticed nuggets that mortalize history somehow. Some of the other people on the tour added a layer of excitement, like the elderly gentleman who decided he was thirsty and went over to help himself to the bottled water on the president’s desk. And his wife, as composed and sweet as a queen, continued to look composed and sweet in her darling hat even as her husband raided the president’s personal stash. We admired the ceilings–I especially enjoyed the Aesop’s fables one–, the artwork, and the vast back lawn.

After the tour, we refilled our water bottles and headed back downtown. For the first time, I managed to nab a seat in the front of the upper level double decker bus.

James Joyce bridge
dublin street
street with colorful doors

Our next stop was a Luke Kelly impersonation concert on the lawn of Saint Patrick’s Cathedral. We had thought we’d like to tour the cathedral as well, but nope. That was another tour that we both decided wasn’t something we wanted to add to our afternoon. (Is it any wonder I came home with a stash of travel money still in my wallet?) So we sat on a concrete lip of the edge of the sidewalk and watched the concert and grew chillier.

concert in lawn of St. Patrick's Cathedral

Then, at my friend’s insistence, we decided to use the free hot drink vouchers we had been given upon entering the concert. We stomped into an elegant hotel restaurant in our winter gear and backpack… maybe looking a little homeless at this point. And we almost lost our nerve, but my friend wanted a cuppa badly enough that she summoned her courage and soon we both had steaming to-go cups of milky Irish tea. We meandered down the street and then stopped to sit on the pedestal of a statue just across the street from the Christ Church Cathedral. We talked about life. People may have looked at us oddly, sitting there on a statue at a busy intersection with our cups of tea, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t notice.

Christ Church Cathedral in Dublin

After our tea, we were hungry. We walked to Lundy Foot’s, a restaurant that offered a traditional beef stew. In retrospect, it may have been more of a tourist attraction than a real Irish pub. And the musician was playing Jonny Cash. But the men at the bar (my sneaky and blurry photo below) seemed Irish enough and animated the atmosphere, especially after a couple of “jars” and a goal or two in the soccer game.

soccer game in irish pub

The beef stew was amazing. So was dessert. We left, flushed from the warmth of the place, and wandered home, happy.

I have very few pictures of Sunday. We had decided to take one day of the week where we would not plan anything. Originally, it had been our “curl up in front of a fireplace” day, but since that was no longer an option, we walked down to the bay. We spread our rain gear on the grass and held a mini church service, ending our time by praying for each other. It was a special time, minus the dog poo on the bottom of my friend’s shoe. We ate our picnic lunch and then strolled up to Insomnia, a coffee shop, and picked out some comfortable chairs. I ordered tea with tea brack, which didn’t end up being my favorite, most likely because it was packed with raisins which I don’t especially like.

We read and journaled in perfect together-solitude. I even crocheted. Then we returned to our Hairy Haven to pack up. We said our goodbyes before bed and I left the house by 5 the next morning.

The bus app directed me to a stop. When the airport coach came, I held out my public transit card hopefully. The driver asked if I had a ticket. Instead, I asked for directions to a Dublin airport bus that would accept my card, but he didn’t know. I finally nodded and decided to pay the extra money to save myself the hassle of finding the right stop. I pulled out my wallet.

Then he asked, “Is this your last day in Ireland?”

I nodded. “I’m going back to Spain today.”

He pushed my money away, patted my shoulder, and quietly said, “Get on board and make yourself comfortable.”

And with that, beautiful, wonderful Ireland sent me back to Spain.

Pride and apathy

True love drives away laziness, that’s what a young friend learned in philosophy class. It drives away apathy too.

Then why do I grow apathetic to the woundedness that surrounds me?

Overwhelmed, that’s what I am. Overwhelmed by the dissonance of compassion and my own limits. I am one person with moderate abilities and stamina. I cannot be a superhero no matter how hard I try. My tiny contribution of self-sacrifice will not change the world.

And so I begin to seal off my heart, and what began as love is reduced to apathy.

Or was it even love to begin with?

When I fill my schedule to the brim with world-changing activities, what is my motive? Can it be love? It might be, but, if I’m honest, my motive to change the world often starts and ends with pride. And it’s a pride that turns apathetic when I refuse to be humbled by remembering my limits.

There always will be busy seasons in our lives, some longer than others, but a sustained frantic pace, even under the pretense of love is not truly loving.

Love isn’t defined by the absence of laziness or apathy. The real meaning isn’t found in the absence of something. It’s not even found in the presence of something like hard work or compassion. It is ultimately found in the Presence of Someone.

When I realize that I am not the one who must save the world, I am freed. The burden to be the savior rolls away. Finally, I can stop panicking over my limits in light of all the work that needs to be done. I am finally free to love well.

I can sit with someone who needs to cry. I can make cupcakes for a team event. I can read a captivating book. I can agree to tutor another student. I can have a friendly chat with my neighbor from the patio. I can probe deeper into the heart of a young woman who isn’t sure who she wants to be just yet. And I can do all of this, recognizing that I am just a small piece in what is happening, and, praise the Lord, I get the joy of being a piece.

I am a created being, created with limits. And that is very good. Why? Because the work does not begin and end with me but with the One who is limitless.


For an excellent resource on human limits, I recommend You’re Only Human by Kelly M. Kapic.

Worship in routine

Last week, a friend told me that she wants her appearance to reflect who she is on the inside, to reflect her inner value and worth as the Holy Spirit’s dwelling place (1 Cor. 6:19). Hmm. That’s good, I think as I lounge in my sweatpants and dirty socks and, oh, oatmeal still between my teeth from breakfast.

I’ve been struggling with the elbow grease of my friend’s realization before she even sent that message. See, I hate getting out of bed in the morning. No, it’s not depression; it’s because my morning routine takes too long, a chunk of seemingly misused time. The world is going up in flames and I’m making my bed and starting the tea kettle and washing my face. And, goodness, what should I wear?

These small tasks don’t feel useless, per se, but of such triviality that it’s irritating how they eat up my morning. They are necessary and I do them, but they feel to me like wood, hay, and stubble. Bedtime is even worse because I have to undo what took me so long to do in the morning plus I’m sleepy and *gasps* grumpy.

WHEN WE GET TO ETERNITY, IS GOD GOING TO CALL US TO ACCOUNT FOR WEARING DIRTY SOCKS? That’s what I want to shout sometimes.

In 2020, I read and recommended Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life by Tish Harrison Warren. “[M]y theology was too big to touch a typical day in my life,” she writes (p. 55). Trim my fingernails? God’s not going to call me to account for that either. I want to do the big things, the kingdom work.

Warren challenged me to view my routines as sacred and meaningful, part of the abundant life that Jesus has for me (p. 22) “How I spend this ordinary day in Christ is how I will spend my Christian life” (p. 24). And that includes my attitude. “The crucible of our formation is in the monotony of our daily routines” (p. 34) because, according to Warren, that is where we can truly start the revolution we’re dreaming of (see Lk. 16:10).

So, God might not call me to account for my dirty socks or overflowing dish drainer, yet, that doesn’t make me unaccountable for how I treat God’s temple (my body) and the gifts He has freely given me. 

As I type out these thoughts, I interrupt myself for a shower, to heat a bowl of soup, and yes, to empty that overflowing dish drainer. It doesn’t feel worshipful, especially when I find a spoon that still has dried bean broth on it. 

But maybe I’m looking at it backwards. Like my friend, I think I should start by reclaiming my motivation and letting my life–even those mundane fingernail clippings and bed makings–come out of that motivation in something like a sweet-smelling savor of worship.


Photo by Nick Page on Unsplash