This morning, a friend sent a voice message that ended with “Much blessings!”
Her non-native English made me smile; I love the way she talks. “Many blessings” is grammatically correct–my work email even signs off with that–because blessings are individual and countable. Or are they? We count our blessings, the many ways which we are thankful for what God has given us, but can we really count them all?
I’m pondering this on after saying goodbye to visitors who celebrated life with me. We toured an Arab fortress, a cathedral, and a greenhouse. We strolled the beach, picnicked by mountain springs, housecleaned, marketed, and tasted lots of foods. And my favorite parts were the conversations, prayers, and laughter woven through all of it. My friends brought gifts and letters from home. On the board above my desk, hang two letters from a nephew and a niece who are big enough to write in beautiful cursive and sign their letters, “Yours truly” and “Love.”
And this week, I have another visitor–one I’ve been looking forward to seeing since… well, since a long time.
With all of the extra activity infused with normal life and work, I sometimes struggle to keep up. Yet, I am filled, sandwiched here between the goodness that was and the goodness that is to come.
“Much blessings” describes this perfectly, I think.
I would sleep all day tomorrow, I decided. After a filled-to-the-brim month, my body was worn out.
Then the instructor from a nearby language school responded to an email that evening, asking to meet at 9 a.m. the next morning. I tried not to panic–“Nine o’clock on my day off!?”–and kept reading the email. “Or 12:00.” I supposed I could drag myself out of bed by then and agreed. But I must have been a little too agreeable because I ended up agreeing to start Spanish class the following Monday, although I hadn’t meant to.
My agreeable mood would be tested yet again. Early in the afternoon, my landlady messaged me. “The grandpa upstairs died. His funeral mass is at 6:30.” The “grandpa upstairs” had always been kind. I hadn’t seen him often, but when I’d stop by to visit, he’d invite me in to sit and chat. I knew his three daughters by sight, but attend his funeral? Why oh why had my landlady told me about it? I could no longer feign ignorance.
I pictured myself tromping into the Spanish funeral mass, outrageously uncatholic. What kind of rituals would they perform? Would I be required to take part? Goodness, what in the world would I wear? My only pair of dress shoes had long since passed their prime. I meticulously de-pilled my black sweater.
“It would be good to go, wouldn’t it? I don’t know your culture very well…” I tried, hoping that my landlady would say that it wasn’t a big deal. I wanted a loophole so I could conveniently lose my nerve.
“Yes, clearly.”
All righty then.
As it turned out, several of the pallbearers wore hoodies and sneakers, and I don’t think people bothered to notice my scruffy dress shoes at all.
Ramadan
All year long, we can pretend that we aren’t so different after all. Then Ramadan starts and suddenly we’re at a fork in the road. I choose one way and my friends choose the other. I catch myself lingering there at the fork, wondering how many want to go that way and how many go because that’s how it’s done.
Yes, Ramadan has a way of waking me up again.
A creep at my elbow
I was meandering to a local shop on a sunny afternoon when a presence at my elbow startled me. The presence wasn’t inclined to pass me. Oh brother. A creep. Adrenaline shot through my veins as decided what to do.
Then he greeted me. And grinned, like the twerp he can be sometimes, when he realized that he had successfully disconcerted me.
Interns.
Breaking the fast with pre-packaged cakes
The call to prayer sounded. Allahu Akbar! Time to break the fast.
Noura, the lady beside me, closed her eyes and whispered a prayer. I sat in my bus seat, still and alert, curious what the Muslims around me would do to break the fast. Or if the cantankerous bus driver would allow them to do anything at all.
“I don’t have anything halal!” The guys in the seat behind me frantically rustled through the plastic bags at their feet.
Ashhadu alla ilaha illallah!
Then they broke the fast with pre-packaged cakes, half dipped in chocolate. Hayya ‘alas-Salah!
After rustling up their own ftur, they began offering cakes to the Muslims around them. A sub-Saharan man declined politely. They threw a package to one of their buddies in the front and he caught it with a crackle. Then across the aisle to another buddy. Last, they peeked through the gap of the seat in front of them.
“Is she North African or Romanian?” they asked each other. My ethnicity was in question. Noura turned to me with a smirk. I smirked back.
For the past 10 days or so, I have been enjoying a dear friend’s visit…and then savoring the lingering memories. Below are some of the photos from our time together. But remember that photos don’t capture life. Not really.
We spend a few wonderful days in rainy Córdoba. We wore plastic bags on our feet to keep out the puddles and streams and broke into delighted gasps whenever the valiant sun peeked through the gray clouds. “It hasn’t rain all this time, and then you came and it rained,” laughed my Cordoban friend when we met for coffee and then an Indian dinner.
Photo credit: M.B.
Photo credit: M.B.
Photo credit: M.B.
Back in Almería, we went up the mountain with teammates to watch the sun set, sifted through produce at the market, ate churros and pastries, enjoyed a British breakfast and crashing waves on one the windiest days of the year… and a gorgeous, sunny beach just 24 hours later. We also climbed Almería’s alcazaba and spent an afternoon admiring pottery in the town of Níjar. On her last evening, three of us celebrated Valentine’s Day with cheese fondue.
Photo credit: M.B.
Photo credit: M.B.
Photo credit: M.B.
Photo credit: M.B.
But we don’t have pictures of those long heart-to-hearts or the laughter that erupted from just being together. Those are the real memories.
I hefted my bag onto the closest seat as the bus lurched forward, nearly carrying the rest of me and mine down the aisle. But I caught the seat handle just in time and wrestled off my backpack.
It was one of those four seater sections of the bus where two passengers faced another two passengers. The kind of seat I typically avoid because I dislike riding backwards and letting my knees protrude into someone else’s territory. But today, the bus was full and at a quick glance, it didn’t seem like there were many other options.
The woman across from me, knees against mine, watched me curiously. I smiled and decided, given the close quarters, not to mention that I was still getting over the flu. I was trying to subtly clear the cough in my throat when her questions began, each in thick Andalusian. “Where are you from? Where do you live? What’s your name?”
Every time I replied, she broadcasted my answer over her shoulder to an elderly gentleman sitting a row back. He watched me with delight, his eyes peering between the clouds of white which were his head and chin.
“Where do you live in Mytown?”
“Close to Central Market.”
“SHE LIVES CLOSE TO CENTRAL MARKET.”
“Oh, Central Market!”
This was how the interrogation went as I bounced along backwards, feeling both annoyed and amused that everyone on the bus now had access to my personal data. She began to preface questions with my name, dragging my attention away from the window where I was pretending that I had forgotten she was there. I kept my answers to the point, swallowing back the coughing fit that kept swelling in my airway.
“How long have you lived here?”
“Six years.”
“SHE HAS LIVED HERE SIX YEARS.”
“Ah! Six years.”
Andalusians, pleasant as they are, have a way of reducing me to the feeling that I’ve just stepped off the plane. They pick me up like a stray. Under their burning curiosity, I get tongue-tied. Getting tongue-tied leads to falling behind in the conversation. Falling behind is a blow to my confidence, which in turn, makes me appear ignorant and lost. That’s when I try to preserve my fizzling dignity by looking for an escape.
Fast forward to not many days after my backwards bus ride to find a friend and me face to face with three abrupt police officers. This time, curiosity was backed by the authority of the uniform.
“What are you doing here?”
Suddenly, I felt as if I were wandering into territory that was not mine for the wandering. I was three and half blocks from home and I felt like they had found me lost.
“Where are you from? Holland? Russia?”
I had never been stopped by police officers before. I don’t even have a speeding ticket to my name (although, I can’t say I’ve never deserved one). A few questions in, I realized they didn’t believe we had done anything wrong, but they were curious who we were and why we were in this particular neighborhood. Their method was protection by intimidation. Not very effective, but very Andalusian.
Once again, the stray puppy was held up for examination and then sent home. Literally this time.
“Go home. You’ll get robbed here.” As if I didn’t live three and a half blocks away. As if I hadn’t been living three and a half blocks away for three years.
Sometimes, I just want to make a list of all of the things I’ve experienced and survived in life and hand it to the next person who tries to protect my presumed naivete. My list may not be long, but I’m guessing it’s longer than a stray puppy’s.
When I walk down the street, more often than not, I find myself walking behind someone with a smoldering cigarette. If I can’t speed around them, I try to get out of their wake but end up bumping into oncoming pedestrians.
Why does this happen so often, you ask? It’s not Murphy’s law, so don’t bother blaming it on him. Actually, it’s because so many Spaniards smoke.
One of the first things I noticed when I returned to Spain this fall was the smells. Cigarette smoke, cologne, cigarette smoke, body odor, cigarette smoke, car fumes, cigarette smoke–oh, and to break it up a little, weed.
I was walking home from the market one morning when a middle-aged lady stopped me and asked for a light. I was curious; did I look like I smoked? Or was it an assumption given my geographical location?
Last week, a group of us huddled in a bus stop, trying to hide from the chilly breeze within the three protective walls. Without warning, two of the ladies lit up, forcing the rest of us to choose between the chill or the fumes. Rude? Well, I’m in Spain and this is how it’s done among the young, old, rich, poor, and everything in between.
Until I start carrying my own tank of purified air, I suppose I will continue inhaling secondary smoke. It’s life here, for better or for worse, and I’m the one who chose to live here. I’m just saying that if I get lung cancer someday, it’s probably Spain’s fault!
It was a balmy day at the beginning of winter that was worthy of short-sleeves. My laundry was hanging in the sunshine on the roof. My spinach and lettuce had dared to show their green little faces on my patio and I was beyond delighted, barely resisting the temptation to make a salad with the tiny sprouts.
My phone rang. “Do you have zucchini? Peppers? Lower the bag and I’ll give you some!”
I held the end of the sturdy string and tossed the bag over the edge of my patio to my neighbor’s kitchen window. She loaded the bag with produce from the abundance in her fridge, and I pulled it up carefully.
And then I was dashing out the door to visit the neighbor around the corner.
My phone rang. “Do you have a roof key?” My downstairs neighbor again. “Can you stay with my boys for five minutes while I take the stroller I’m cleaning up to the roof? It needs to be dry by tomorrow.”
After a bit of scheduling chaos, I continued on my way. I rang my neighbor’s buzzer and waited. Last week, I hadn’t waited long enough, she said, because she had been back in the kitchen with her hands in oily pastry dough and by the time she had washed her hands and put on a headscarf, I was gone.
Today I promised to wait.
A shriek greeted me as the elevator door opened to the third floor. Her three-year-old son, L, was so delighted by my presence that he couldn’t contain himself. “He is flying with happiness,” my friend said. “He isn’t even thinking with his head, just happy.” Yes, that could explain why his feet were in the air more often than his head.
My friend insisted on tea or coffee or something, although I had just stopped by to drop off the container she had sent home with cake the other week. So I stayed for tea, which, as usual, turned into more than just tea.
While she was busy in the kitchen, I hung out with L in the salon. We traveled to other countries. We took naps with boisterous snoring to indicate that we were asleep. I put my head against the couch pillow; he curled up on the floor and pulled the rug over him. SNORE, SNORE. Then he tried to trim my fingernails with a clippers he found on the table. Then: “I have to poop!” And he was gone like a flash and back like a flash. He slipped into my sneakers and clomped around the room in them, giggling. So I grabbed his shoes and balanced them on the tips of my toes.
Just then, his big sister strode into the room. “Shame on you, L!” she said when she saw him in my shoes. But when she saw me in his shoes, she doubled over with giggles.
The tea arrived then, my friend and her husband walking in with laden trays to the sound of our laughter.
Big Sister scooted over beside me when L put his feet near my face and was unceremoniously relocated. But, in the end, L decided he wasn’t hungry after all and hid under the table. We practiced English vocabulary for Big Sister’s Tuesday exam. “Granfodder. Granmudder. Unt. Brudder.”
“I have to go now, but let’s practice tomorrow evening,” I suggested before dashing back to my own building where my downstairs neighbor was waiting for me to bring the roof key so she could air her dripping stroller. I helped haul the boys and stroller to the roof. Little S ran his hand along the bottoms of the clothes dangling on the line as I unpinned them and tossed them into my basket. Baby A crawled across the sunbaked tiles.
I went downstairs to make lunch. The evening would be pleasantly full, but I had a few hours to catch my breath and to realize that this kind of day was really my favorite kind of day.
Leaving Illinois–leaving family, friends, and church community–was hard as usual. Well, maybe even harder than usual. I flip on the electric kettle and wait at the counter’s edge while my Barry’s tea bag floats atop the milk in the bottom of my favorite mug. I’m back in Spain and life in the States feels far away. “Well, here I am. Alone again.”
My bags are unpacked. My house is relatively clean except the random projects strewn around the living room. I live downtown and it just feels so quiet.
Then again…
A neighbor (and her irritating dog) dropped by because I’d promised her chocolate for watching my apartment while I was gone. She apologized over and over again for killing my plants and insisted I take the remaining straggler with me before she killed that one too.
Another neighbor (a new one) dropped by to ask if my apartment was for rent. Umm…
Yet another neighbor dropped by to ask if I could pick up her daughter from school. She caught me during a salad laden with chia seeds. While we were chatting, I felt a seed swelling between my front teeth. I couldn’t subtly pry it out with my tongue, so there it stayed and I punctuated the conversation with seedy smiles.
My neighbor boy dropped by to visit, strewing cookie crumbs across the floor as he made his rounds, examining everything new in the house. “What did you miss most?” his mom asked him. “Her or her toys?” He grinned and looked away. But he pointed at me.
As I was out and about this morning, I decided to make a list of the things I like about being back in Spain. The cons can go without mention this time.
The sunshine!
The accessibility to quality food, especially fresh produce.
Knowing my way around stores.
Having sales tax included in the price.
Living downtown where neighbors pop in and out and almost everything I need is within walking distance.
Good ol’ Spanish directness. (Yes, this can get annoying too, but I’m choosing the positive side today.) This morning, as I was standing at the hardware store counter, another customer plunked a packet of screws on the counter and said they were the wrong size. “How do we know you didn’t take some out?” asked the clerk, eyes narrowing. “There’s a screw of a different class.” Indeed, on a bed of bland screws was a gold-colored one. Where had it come from? There would be no getting around the fact that the package had been tampered with. I felt a giggle bubbling up but tried to swallow it down. Even in customer service, there were no niceties. No frills or lace bordering this conversation.
Amazon packages that arrive rápidamente with or without Prime.
Fast internet.
Cheap phone plans.
The reminder that God is here too.
The variety of people–colors, ages, personalities, nationalities–all piled into my neighborhood.
The late schedule. When I roll out of bed at 8:00, the streets are still pretty quiet, as if I’m not the only one reluctant to get started on the day.
My apartment. Knowing my kitchen–what utensils and pots and pans I have and what is in my fridge because I’m the one who put it there.
That’s all for now. See? I’m already feeling less alone and more… I don’t know… ready.
The Spanish classes of our language school took a day trip to Granada to visit the Alhambra. It was a gorgeous day and we had our own guide, which made the experience more memorable. My souvenir was two strips of bright sunburn on the back of my neck where I had missed with sunscreen. Hooray.
A Japanese classmate made me an incredible array of sushi. “You can pay next time,” she said with a smile. I went straight home and savored every bite.
A teammate and I redeemed Adra. (Read about our previous trip here.) We went without much of an agenda and ended up doing little, but enjoying it more. The fishing museum, the tunnels, the beach, and the baked cod with pisto were perfect.
I was tired on the day I went to visit friends in the countryside. The visit overwhelmed my senses and my language abilities. It was hard not to fantasize about going home and flopping down on the sofa for the entire next week. Then, I came back to a town gone crazy with Noche en Blanco and streets that were almost impassable even on foot and a stranger who thought it would be nice to take me out for a drink. Yep. Those are the moments my nightmares consist of.
Several months passed as I dreamt of a morning trip to a nearby beach town. I erased it from my schedule every time something else came up, which it inevitable did. Until one day… the chance came and I grabbed it. While waiting on the bus, I spontaneously invited a teammate and she came too! We delighted over our British breakfast. And then there was a second-hand shop and the stroll along the port before coming home to real life.
Kicking a ball around in Plaza Mayor with my neighbor boy brought a few other littles to play too. It was quite a lot of fun because these under-5-year-olds were about my skill level for soccer.
Our Spanish class met to buy our teacher a gift to celebrate the end of the school year. Someone had the bright idea of getting a classy looking bag for her teaching materials. Great idea! Except that I was completely exhausted by the time I got home. “How are we so indecisive?” I wondered. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn’t indecision as much as overstated opinions. Most everyone said precisely what they thought and then acted like they expected everyone else to agree with them.
Stopping by to visit a friend turned into helping her pack her things for a sudden trip to North Africa.
The dentist charged me half price for my cleaning just because. I know I saved just over 20 euro, but with all of the other extra costs that come with returning to the States, it felt like a hug from God.
My baby neighbor boy has grown a delightful little smile that just charms the socks off of people. Well, off of me at least. 🙂 I’ve started wearing sandals.
A friend send me two bags of Barry’s Irish tea. Oh, how I savored those two cups of rainy Ireland memories!
I hauled almost 50 euros worth of olives back from the market last week. I did it with the assurance that my family will be beyond grateful.
That’s all for right now. The rest would probably bore you if you’re not bored already. 😉 My teammates have all gone back to the States and soon I leave too. You may or may not hear from me for the next three months. Probably many of you will see me instead. I’m looking forward to seeing you!
A couple of weeks ago, we had a team listening exercise in which each of us had to describe our dream vacation. A teammate would listen carefully and later give the details to the larger group.
What is my dream vacation? I like to think I’m adventurous, like maybe backpacking across Europe or ending up on the African savannah. A friend and I are planning a 40th birthday trip (still a few years off, but we might as well have a blast planning). She wanted to go to Australia until she heard about the poisonous snakes. I’m still voting for Scandinavia.
One teammate said he wants to go to every English speaking country over the course of 5 years. One wanted to travel to every continent. Another wanted Switzerland, another Alaska.
I said Ireland. I’d take a small fishing village on the west coast with a stack of books and plenty of solitude. I’d soak in the wild coastal nature and eat oysters every day. Maybe I’d slip into the city every now and then for a hot chocolate and street musicians. Maybe I’d invite a quiet friend along and we could drink Irish tea and be alone together in the gentle drizzle of a rainy day.
That’s the best I can think up right now. But I’m curious what everyone else’s dream vacations would be. Well? What would you choose? Feel free to leave a comment so I can dream with you.
If you have the time and energy, check out part 1, part 2, and part 3 before reading this final part of my family’s visit.
Somewhere along the line, the family travel journal petered out. It may have been due to the fact that Spain felt like coming home to me, not another adventure. Or perhaps it is was due to my sister’s stomach bug which made her less ambitious. Or–ahem–simply due to a lack of discipline. Regardless, some of the details of our time in Spain are fuzzy. So I’ll stick to the things that I remember…
After a teammate picked us up from the airport, we ran out to get chwarmas for supper. Sure, we could have cooked something, but none of us felt like generating any more excitement that day.
The next morning, after first breakfast at home, we strolled down the street to a café for second breakfast. My family enjoyed their tostadas, even if they didn’t enjoy the booming café music. “THIS IS SPANISH CULTURE!” I bellowed over the din.
A few of us zipped around town with a grocery cart, buying most of what we needed for the next week. Mom exclaimed over each new load of groceries we brought home but dutifully put everything away while we went out for another load. (Let the record show that we ate almost everything we bought and had to buy more!) Our shopping trip ended just in time to race–somewhat disheveled at this point–to my teammates’ place for a yummy lunch.
I tried to whip up soup for dinner but mostly just whipped up a giant disaster, which Mom cleaned up while we raced across town to pick up the rental car. The soup, partially cooked, was put on hold until the next night.
Photo credit: R.K.
Wednesday was market day. Everyone had been looking forward to the market, but with PEOPLE EVERYWHERE it was much more stressful than they had anticipated. Before long, I deposited them in plastic chairs by the churro stand and finished the shopping on my own. It’s strange, I thought, how much I’ve adjusted to living in a crowded space, to waiting in line or catching the vendor’s attention to get some service, to holding my ground when people get pushy and reaching around people when they’re in the way. New experiences quickly become normal life.
That afternoon, we went on a greenhouse tour. Our enthusiastic tour guide showed us the variety of methods they used for planting, ventilation, and pest control. After pigging out on the samples and buying a bag of produce to take with us, we spontaneously slipped over to the beach to watch the sun set and dip our toes in the chilly Mediterranean.
We finished the evening with the North African soup I’d tried to make the night before.
Thursday consisted of mostly cancelled plans, due to my sister’s stomach bug. No couscous with my friend and no drive up the mountain. Mom and I slipped out to some North African stores. My usual shopkeepers were delighted to meet my mother. I should have brought Dad along too because they probably were wondering how the American giant belonged to a woman half her height. 🙂
My sister was busy being sick so the rest of us took it easy, putting a puzzle together, reading, and the like. My brother-in-law cheerfully fixed my leaky washer, changed out the dorky bedroom light fixture, and reassembled a malfunctioning drawer. Meanwhile, my adorable and unsupervised nephew amused himself by dropping things from the balcony, as we discovered later.
Our big outing of the day– “Come on guys. We have a rental car. We HAVE to use it.”– was going to two grocery stores: Aldi and Mercadona. Since there is a tiny piece of Roman ruins right next to Aldi, I led my family there to see it.
Photo credit: N.H.
Dad stared down at the puny wall. “Oh wow.” Mom didn’t say much of anything. I’m not sure she even saw the wall because she spent the whole time trying to avoid the dog piles. My brother-in-law dutifully snapped a photo. At Mercadona, Dad disappeared for a bit and then came sidling over with a guilty grin and a container of pecan praline ice cream behind his back.
We tried to fuel the car, but due to the confusing labels, had a hard time deciding which was diesel. The guys stood at the pump, sniffing the dripping nozzles. Finally, I went inside the station to verify that they guys’ noses were accurate after all.
By the time we got home from our mini-adventure, my sister was feeling a little better. But she was not feeling good enough for pecan praline ice cream. So the guys took care of it for her…and for the rest of us, come to think of it.
The next day, we took the rental car up to the mountain lookout. We bounced all of the way up, the guys discussing the quality of the tires and such. We got out and admired the view of the sea of white plastic greenhouses before heading back down. By then, the clouds were moving in and visibility was limited.
My downstairs neighbor brought up a big plate of couscous, which hit the spot. Besides wandering over to the Spanish pastry shop and the nearby park, we didn’t accomplish much else that day.
I guess we were storing up energy for the next day. Saturday we went hither and yon–to Immigrantville to visit friends, to Almería to climb up the Alcazaba. Then back to Immigrantville for tapas in a loud and crowded tapa bar. Then to visit another friend who insisted we come in for tea and sweets. Then finally, home.
I whipped up a pot of puchero and then a few of us returned the rental car. Handing over the keys was melancholy, like our time was winding down too quickly. And it was. Sunday was our last day together. We were in charge of team lunch, so late morning we worked on food prep and then spent the rest of the day with the team for lunch and a church service. I was pleased to see my worlds unite: some of the people I know best in the world getting to know each other.
By Sunday evening, part of me was ready to get back to real life, but the larger part of me was trying to hold on to every single minute.
They left early Monday morning. I came home from the airport to wash a load of sheets. But I chose to leave the tiny fingerprints on my windows at least for a few more days.
My Thoughts From Afar | 